One year ago today, at just about this hour—miracle of miracles—after nine years of marriage, many of which were riddled with missionary sickness and medical procedures and infertility and stage four Endometriosis and my wife’s surgery, with a sort of providential magic in the moment, those two beautiful red lines on that last final pregnancy test suddenly appeared out of thin air.

Lorna shook me awake. She could not contain her joy. She dared not let me sleep in.

“David! David!” And she said nothing else. But the happy tears in her eyes told eloquent stories of hope.

One year ago today, at just about this hour—miracle of miracles—we found out that Lorna was pregnant.

Which gets me thinking: why did I ever doubt God in the first place? With all his promises in place, this future had always been destined for us, only I have myopia, and struggle to see beyond my present circumstances. I assure you, this is not an isolated case of unbelief. It seems to be a reoccurring theme in my storyline.

You see, I’m a bit dense.

Which gets me thinking again: why do I doubt God over and over in every new set of impossible situations? Is he not with us now, leading and guiding, and somehow watching over the health and well being of my new little family?

“You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.”
“His huge outstretched arms protect you—under them you’re perfectly safe; his arms fend off all harm.”
“And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

One year ago today, at just about this hour—miracle of miracles—I began to hope again, and learn to trust, if not ever so infinitesimally.

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“I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”

(Dear Lorna, happy one year anniversary since the day you found out that you were pregnant!)

Read Tragic Joy, about Lorna’s surgery.
Read Everything Is New, about how our daughter, Cara Liana, came to us.

David Joannes
Founder/President at Within Reach Global
David Joannes is the co-founder and president of Within Reach Global, Inc, which serves the advance of the Gospel in some of Southeast Asia’s most difficult places. He is the author of The Space Between Memories: Recollections from a 21st Century Missionary. David has a love for language, culture, and creative writing, and for the last 20 years, he has witnessed God’s Kingdom established in forgotten parts of the globe. David lives in Chiang Mai, Thailand, with his wife, Lorna, and their daughter, Cara.
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